It Didn’t Start With You, But It Can End With You – Exploring Inherited Family Trauma w/ Mark Wolynn – Episode #53

Mark Wolynn is a trauma specialist who understands how to resolve trauma that has been passed down through generations. He wrote a book called It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. At a time where the world is waking up to our individual and collective wounding, Mark is a perfect guest for listeners who want to understand more about what trauma is, how it occurs, and how to heal it.

Mark joined me for a fascinating discussion that took us into the depths of the healing arts. We talked about early life trauma, ancestral trauma, and particular insights on men’s relationships with their mothers and fathers which shape them in adulthood. For my male listeners, this will be truly fascinating.

In this episode we discuss:

  • Inherited Family trauma.

  • Mark’s focus on “what isn’t remembered in the mind”, but what is remembered in the body.

  • Trauma: expanding our understanding and its misconceptions.

  • Ben’s story of addiction and how it ties to his mom.

  • Attunement – now we know its importance.

  • Why it’s useful to dig into our pasts.

  • Verbal and non-verbal trauma language.

  • Trauma as the window to our ancestors.

  • The importance of doing trauma work with others.

  • Focusing on father/son relationships in men’s groups.

  • How to do this work without spiritual bypassing.

  • Avoiding and re-creating pain.

  • “The Work”: leaning in and creating space.

  • The unconscious connection to our parents that we all need to recognize.

  • 4 ways we can merge with our parents that creates pain.

  • Common dynamics with men and their mothers, and their fathers.

  • Why men’s groups are so important.

  • The lost art of initiation processes.

  • Positive experiences that can physically change the brain.

  • DNA expression and how we can shape it in the healing process.

  • The power of visualization for healing.

  • Ben’s experience of re-connecting with his brother.

  • The importance of knowing your family history.


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For a video version of this interview, watch it on Youtube below.