Isolation Equals Amplification – with Connor Beaton – Episode #43

Connor Beaton is the founder of Mantalks, a men’s personal growth brand that is dedicated to creating better men. Using the Mantalks Podcast and his online men’s community, Connor influences thousands of men to do their inner work to be better fathers, husbands, and brothers to each other.

Connor joins me to discuss what he’s seeing in the world and in his clients during the worldwide lockdown and dramatic change in society. Stay tuned to the end of this episode to witness some straight talk where Connor and I model a process called Active Constructive Appreciation.


On this episode we discuss:

  • The panic and collective fear Connor is seeing in the world.

  • What happens in the nervous system when our sense of normalcy is eroded.

  • The illusion of control over our future, and how much comfort we derive from that illusion.

  • The dramatic emergence of conspiracy theories – where is this coming from?

  • How reliant we are on the system that provides for us.

  • The first time in many people’s lives where they’ve faced the question “how am I going to protect and support my family?”.

  • Taking the right actions despite uncertainty.

  • Living with virtue within a fear state.

  • How isolation amplifies our mechanisms for coping and survival.

  • The coping mechanisms are at an all time high: Movies, alcohol, drugs, porn, etc.

  • Self-mentoring – Looking at your own amplification in this time.

  • Looking outward to relieve our stress – we need to look inwards and find our own personal freedom.

  • Being alone – facing one’s self – the ultimate challenge.

  • Your life isn’t happening to you, it’s happening for you.

  • Seeing your own coping mechanisms and intervening to change them.

  • The collective unconscious – we are all connected emotionally to each other.

  • Boundaries – setting our own boundaries to stay grounded as society spins out.

  • Coping Mechanisms VS Thriving Mechanisms.

  • Death – acknowledging the micro-deaths and the death-rebirth cycles in our lives.

  • A key to evolution – Letting go of what must die.

  • Putting anger, fear, and protesting in its place. Taking action in your own life.

  • Acknowledging grief and giving it a seat at our table collectively.

  • Self-care: What Connor has been doing for self-care in isolation.

  • Breath work, phone calls to supportive friends, limited media time, and lots of time in nature.

  • Quality screen time – using screens for social connection vs. entertainment.

  • Tip for connecting socially via screens: Active Constructive Appreciation.

  • Connor and I model how to give one another constructive appreciation. This is one element of men’s-work practice that we use in our men’s groups


Connor can be found at:

Instagram @mantalks
The podcast – Mantalks

If you liked this episode, check out this episode on Being A Man, with Mark Groves.