Healing Through Conscious Relationship – with Sheleana Aiyana – Episode #18

Sheleana Aiyana is a writer and group facilitator in Vancouver, BC and she joins me to discuss the implications and importance of doing what’s called “Deep Work” – looking inward to explore our consciousness in order to reclaim some of the territory usually dominated by the unconsciouss.

In this episode we discuss the growing movement of women’s and men’s groups that are involved with deep work, and how they are affecting huge changes in the lives of their members.

Shelena and I candidly share our own relationship patterns as a way of showing what we are learning about how relationships can derail, and how to be in “conscious relationship”.

Topics we cover in this episode:

  • Trauma and blocked emotions
  • How we unconsciously act out our trauma
  • “Shadow aspects” and how they show up
  • Why relationships are our biggest trigger
  • How relationships can offer a powerful catalyst for healing our wounds
  • Discipline of children through the withdrawal of love
  • Healing through expressing what hasn’t been allowed
  • Needy-ness and Avoidance – two signs that you’ve got healing to do
  • Deep work as a gateway to healthier relationships
  • The Nice Guy phenomenon and how it affects men
  • Conscious Relationship and learning to be in compassion and understanding
  • Perseverance – The importance of staying in the game and moving towards your partner
  • Triggers – How to deal with triggering your partner’s wounds
  • Shutting down when you’re challenged – something that many men face with their partners
  • For men: moving towards your partner when fear wants you to pull away
  • Anxious and Avoidant types in relationships
  • Rising Woman Sisterhood: Transpersonal group-work, family systems work, and the fellowship of women.
  • The paradox of vulnerability
  • Shadow work and accepting both sides of your existence
  • How to unlock your gifts
  • How men can support women’s work.
  • How to hold space for gender politics by doing your own work
  • Collaboration VS Opposition in gender politics
  • The masculine/feminine gender norms debate and how it can be a distraction from looking inward
  • The #MeToo movement and how we can use MeToo to further our own inner work
  • Sheleana’s latest obsession: Satir Family Therapy
  • The best Men’s group in Vancouver – The Samurai Brotherhood


Sheleana is a coach for women and relationships.

Find her coaching page here

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